


For Better Or Worse

by AgentHawk11



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, Moving On, No Dialogue, Song Fic (of sorts), Song: In The Name Of Love, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 19:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18946963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentHawk11/pseuds/AgentHawk11
Summary: "And it’s all in the name of love"





	For Better Or Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Good morrow, gentle people!
> 
> The muse has struck again. I noticed that I haven’t written much Bathena, which I will most likely be rectifying this summer. Because my babies are happy and healthy and actually cannon and that rarely happens for me, so I don’t know how to act.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little piece my brain has decided to spit out!
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights to 9-1-1 belong to Ryan Murphy & Fox and all rights to the song used belong to Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha. I’m just borrowing them and having a little fun.

_If I told you this was only gonna hurt_

_If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn_

_Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first?_

_D_ _o it all in the name of love_

He hated that it had to come to this, that she had to find out this way. He wanted to tell her. He was going to tell her. When the time was right. At least, that’s what he’d been telling himself, repeatedly, over the last few months.

He’d told himself she needed to know everything after he asked her to marry him. It just never seemed like the right time. The more time passed, the more the “right time” never came.

He couldn’t tell her, he couldn’t lose her.

The sins of his past were too much for him, let alone someone else. He wanted to believe that Athena would still want to be with him after all was said and done. But the risk was too great. She was one of the greatest parts of his life. He saw having Athena in his life as God starting forgive him for all he’d done. He’s worked hard to become the version of himself that he is, the version that she’s in love with, to lose her would unravel all of that.

He’s no longer been given a choice, though.

What’s done in the dark will come to light and all that.

The chief is gone, he’s been relieved of duty. As she’s staring at him with confusion in her eyes, he prays that what he’s about to do doesn’t ruin them.

He tells her everything, the whole story, unfiltered. He watches her, her features remain neutral as he talks. It’s fine by him, he’s just happy that it’s not disgust or anger.

The room is permeated by silence after he finished. She walks toward where he stood, he’s prepared for the worst. She grabs him and kisses him. A huge step up from the worse case scenario in his head.

She tells him that it wasn’t his fault. She tells that, though she doesn’t like that this was the first time she’s hearing about this, she was glad that he’d finally told her. She tells him that she was more than confident in the man the he is and she had no doubt that this would all blow over soon. She tells him that she loves him and he has her full support.

She was standing behind him. Out of the ways this could have gone, he was granted the best case scenario. He would be forever grateful.

_ Would you let me lead you even when you're blind? _

_ In the darkness, in the middle of the night _

_ In the silence, when there's no one by your side _

_ Would you call in the name of love? _

Athena remembered the first time that they did this: had a gut feeling and investigated it together. It was barely after they’d first met. It was the first she felt something, a spark, between them, though she didn’t know what it was at the time.

The second time was when she knew for sure, there was something there.

It was the middle of the night. Michael lay next to her asleep. She should be, too, but this nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. This case had gotten to her and she feels like there’s something more that the department was missing. The case was going to be closed, ruled an accident, but something strong was telling her that it wasn’t. 

Michael told her to leave well enough alone, not wanting her to get involved in something she shouldn’t. Again. She knew she should, she wanted to, but she just couldn’t.

Sneaking out of bed, careful not to wake her husband, she grabbed her phone, went downstairs, and called the only person she could think of at the moment. Bobby was there during the whole chaotic scene, he would understand where she was coming from. She hoped.

He’s still awake when she calls. He tells her that he can’t stop thinking about it either and agreed that this case didn’t feel as open and shut as the department was making it out to be.He was actually the one that suggested it, them going back to take another look around, if she wanted. She tells him that she will meet him there.

It’s past dark and they probably look fucking nuts, but here they were. Looking around for something, anything that would quell this uneasiness, whether it proved them right or wrong.

A noise made Athena jump slightly and Bobby grabbed her asking if she was okay. She felt it when he grabbed her, that small shock wave throughout her body. He must have felt it too based on the way he was looking at her. The moment ends as quickly as it began, not be brought up again until a year and a half later. Changing the mood, he makes a lame joke, she rolls her eyes and pushes him away, but, she had to admit, it did make her feel better. She stows that little moment to the very back of her mind.

She thanked him for doing this with her. He admitted that this detective thing they were doing was actually kind of fun. Not even sure what they were looking for, when they found it the evidence they needed to prove that this was not an accident. She had been right.

After telling the PD and convincing them to look into it again, she assured him that his name would not be brought up in this, in the case that any trouble arises. This time, she hugs him and thanks her again for coming with her. He tells her that she could call him anytime she wanted to do that.

That’s how it became a thing, their thing. It didn’t happen too often, but when it did, she always knew she could count on him to be there for her.

_ If I told you we could bathe in all the lights _

_ Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky? _

_ Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights? _

_ Would you fall in the name of love? _

They were leaving the church when the idea came to him. They both knew that this connection that they had was mutual, made stronger over the events of today. So he should just go for it. Ask her.

As she goes to walk down the steps, he catches her arm to stop her. He tells her that he thinks they should continue the discussion they were having over dinner. He sees the shocked look in her eyes and takes in her stuttering attempt at a response before it settles into silent contemplation. He steels himself for the response he knows that’s coming. He’s pleasantly surprised to hear her agree.

Initially, the two of them didn’t go into this with any expectations. The fact that he felt enough to even want to be in this moment with her was more than enough for him.

They trusted each other with the delicacy of where they were in life at that point, knowing that they had the space to go at the pace that was needed.

Though this thing between them was still considered casual, it didn’t take long for their relationship to become physical. The first time it happened was not planned or expected. They’d gone out, she invited him back to her place, and it just happened. He knew, as soon as their bodies connected, as she gave herself to him and trusted him with this, that he was falling harder for her. 

It didn’t scare him nearly as much as he thought it should.

As time goes on and feelings get stronger, there’s a level of trust they have to give the other. They have to continuously ask themselves if they are ready for it. Fear and reservations start to set in, as expected. She pushes at him and he’s fine with it, at first. This was an entirely new territory that they were in. He also gave her his hang-ups to sift through. Then the pushing became too much for him and he had no choice but to push back. 

He loved this woman, that much was very clear. She’s trusted with her mind and body, he just needs her to trust him with her heart. Easier said than done, he was aware. He’d gotten to a place where he was sure that he wanted this. He wanted her there too.

He knew it wasn’t going to happen on its own, that he had to show her, convince her that he was willing to do what even it took. Eventually those walls started to come down and she started to give him more.

It wasn’t until she finally told him that she loved him, him following quickly thereafter,that he truly thought about how far this was going. 

Then another set back: her asking to move in together. He didn’t know why it scared him. Maybe it was the air of finality that affected him so badly. He would be finally, fully moving on with his life. There was a level of irrational guilt to be felt at that. In any matter, it didn’t take him long to figure out what he wanted. All of it. Everything. With her.

They’d jumped off the edge of this proverbial cliff. No going back now.

_ When there's madness, when there's poison in your head _

_ When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed _

_ I will hold you in the depths of your despair _

_ And it's all in the name of love _

It was the middle of the night when she woke up. As her eyes adjusted to the pale moonlight, she remembered she was spending the night at Bobby’s condo. She reached over to hid side of the bed and found it empty and cool. She didn’t see any other lights on, so she called out to him.

No answer.

Rising from the bed, she searches around to find where he’d gone. Their clothing was still strewn around the room from the previous nights activities. She takes note of his shoes near the door. His wallet and car keys were on his bedside table.

He was still there, so where was he?

She calls out again.

Still no answer.

Her worry starts to set in as she leaves the bedroom. It doesn’t take Athena long to spot Bobby’s silhouette in the small, moonlit dining room. She also sees the tall bottle in front of him. The bottle she had absolutely no idea he had.

Her eyes widen as she quickly turns on the light. She calls out to him. He keeps his eyes straight, never looking up from the bottle in front of him. He says he hasn’t drank any of it. The  but I really want to  is heavily implied. His voice cracks, his eyes red from obvious tears. He looked completely broken.

Athena was frozen and slightly confused until she remembered what today was.

Brook’s birthday.

She remembered this day last year. Him high on LSD and her talking him down off the ledge. Literally. The emptiness and raw emotion she saw then. This is so much different. She’d never seen him like this.

Her steps were a little hesitant, unusual for her, but she didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Did he want to be alone? Would he push her away? She didn’t know but her gut was telling her to do something.

She wrapped her arms around him. Nothing needed to be said as to why this was happening, he knew she knew. Over his shoulder he sees a wallet sized photo of Brook.The only one he has left. She buried her face in his neck and just stood their with him.

He didn’t react at first. After a minute, she felt him put his hand over hers. He was telling her to go back to bed, that he was fine. His shaking voice was telling her that he clearly wasn’t.

She doesn’t move.

He didn’t take his eyes off the photo. She heard him say that she would be 14. That she should be here. 

That she would be alive if it wasn’t for him.

He said the last part so lowly that she was sure she would not have heard it if she wasn’t right there. She didn’t respond and gripped him tighter. The flow of tears were dripping over her hands. She felt him squeeze as silent tears turned to sobs.

The pain he was going through was unimaginable. She wished she could heal him. She wished she knew the right words, the right things to do to help. But, she didn’t. All she knew was he needed her there and that’s where she was going to be.

It was a while before she got him to go back to bed. She watched him as he slept, softly caressing her fingers through his hair and down his face. He wasn’t better, not by a long shot, but he’d be okay. She’d make sure of it.

Once the time was more appropriate, she called in to work for both him and her. She told Michael to keep her kids for the next day or so. She wanted to make sure that neither of them had any worries.

The rest of the day was just spent with each other. She let him lead in what they did and didn’t do, what they did and didn’t talk about. It was just them, decompressing. Healing. 

_ I wanna testify _

His adrenaline was still wearing off. As much as he wanted to give Athena the wedding of her dreams, he needed to marry this woman, right now. Tonight. They could do a big reception, he didn’t care. All he needed was her.

_ Scream in the holy light _

God knows he didn’t deserve her. He marveled at how beautiful she looked walking towards him with Harry and May by her side. She looked at him with love and loyalty in her eyes, a look he hoped he’d see for the rest of his life.

_ You bring me back to life _

He never thought his life would have brought him here three years ago. He was just a man climbing his way out of the out of darkness, out of the recesses of hell. Looking for a fresh start. Any of this the furthest thing from his mind. She’s given him back so much of himself he’d thought he’d lost. She’s continuously saved him. She was his penance.

_** And it's all in the name of love ** _

**Author's Note:**

> My first time doing a (sort of) song fic. How did you like it? Let me know what you think!


End file.
